Spoilers ahead because that Game of Thrones season 8, episode 4, “The last of the Starks.”
Eight year ago, Game the Thrones began together a story about a mediocre male sitting ~ above the stole Throne. It’s set to end as a ferocious battle between 2 of the most badass ladies in television history: Cersei Lannister and also Daenerys Targaryen. That is, that course, if the writers don’t chaos it up. 2 weeks ago, that wasn’t a concern. After critical night’s episode, however, when newly knighted Brienne the Tarth turned into a pile of tears because her friend was leaving town to see his twin-turned-girlfriend and Missandei was killed off as a war prop, I have actually a little little bit of hesitation.
It’s no that Game of Thrones has jumped the shark, however there’s one eerie emotion gurgling in the pit of mine stomach. I’m afraid Jon snow — sorry, Aegon Targaryen — is walk to somehow stumble his means onto the steel Throne. Yes, ns do median accidentally bumbling his method onto it, prefer he bumbles absolutely everything else, and also everyone will just yell, “King in the south!” If the happens, i’m going come riot.
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Still, that’s for Future Julia to fuss over. This video game of Game of Thrones installment is all around “The critical of the Starks.” The ideal word to explain what went under in this illustration is “bizarre.” The illustration starts in Winterfell wherein the survivors that the battle of Winterfell space celebrating their success after paying your respects to fallen soldiers. The scene in the dining room is like something the end of fan fiction. World are drink merrily, hitting on every other, and tearing into delicious food. Life is about consumption, after all, and also everyone is looking come consume whatever they can gain their hand on.
It’s unclear precisely who was eating and also who to be packing your bellies through strictly wine and also ale calories, however points come Podrick, Gendry, Brienne, the Hound, Jon, and also Sansa because that digging right into some meat top top camera. (+10) The very same rules apply for drinking. There’s a an excellent chance that every solitary person in that room was drinking, particularly after the night they had, yet points are only being doled out to those that took a swig on-screen: Daenerys, Jaime, Tyrion, Davos, and Tormund. (+10) some characters, prefer Brienne, were seen both eating and drinking, but it’s the exact same category. Your character obtained 10 points, reader. Nothing be greedy.
That to be a the majority of partying — enough that i’m concerned around the quantity of vomit that will stain Winterfell’s grounds through morning and how long the line for hangover potions (I assume, in a civilization of magic, the there room hangover potions) will be. Even Jon Snow, mine go-to an option for this episode’s Least valuable Character, comments on the feasible barf tidal wave situation: “Vomiting is no celebrating.” (+5 for wit) in spite of everyone trying your damnedest to obtain as drunk as feasible and retire come bed (a large mood), some an excellent comes the end of the celebration. Gendry is advocated to mr Gendry Baratheon the Storm’s finish (+25 for a promotion) by Daenerys, that brags to Tyrion that he’s “not the only one who’s clever.” (+10 for a brutal put-down)
Caught increase in the excitement of Gendry’s new promotion and also the truth that they’re no dead, the remainder of Winterfell is feeling pretty horny — and I do typical everyone. Podrick attracts two women’s fist (+5 because that a bolder come-on), and random newcomers Willa manages to hit on Tormund. (also +5) Gendry offers his newfound lordship to ask Arya to marry that (+5), and also while Arya offers her young love a sweet kiss, she rejects his proposal. “Any lady would be lucky to have you… but that’s no me.” (+10) go off, Arya! we stan a true queen who knows what she wants out that life. Mine therapist would be therefore proud that her.
Gendry no the only one who got turned down, either. Tormund, everyone’s favourite cheery drunken giant-milker, stumbles towards a table whereby Brienne, Jaime, and also Tyrion are engaging in a friendly video game of “confession time.” It’s favor “Would girlfriend Rather,” but instead of saying an odious circumstance for the players to pick from, this drinking video game seems come be around guessing details of various other people’s lives. It’s every fun and also games till Tyrion guesses the Brienne is a virgin. It’s a pistol question, asked together if it’s something to it is in ashamed of as soon as it’s not, and also it it s okay under Brienne’s skin. She stands up, advertising she’s going to take a piss (+10), only to be stopped by a drunk Tormund joking around which “coward shit in mine pants.” (+5) Brienne no amused (probably because she isn’t a 10-year-old boy who finds poop hoax funny), and she to walk right past him.
It’s only as soon as Jaime goes after Brienne, prevent Tormund indigenous doing so, that we acquire to the many satisfying hookup that the evening: Brienne and Jaime. (+15 sex points come both) yes a term because that this sort of long buildup come two characters finally obtaining together: a slow-moving burn. Their relationship has been chugging along at glacial speed, yet whenever us were all set to provide up ~ above them, they’d decision to go for a swim in a lake or something, and also the anticipation come rushing back. It’s addictive. It is what Brienne and also Jaime have functioned with for far too long. Through a tiny light banter out of the method (“I’ve never slept through a items before,” +5 to Jaime), our favourite OTP lastly cements your love, or at least their lust. When I’d love to take every one of Tyrion’s clues away for being caustic and obnoxious during their game, I’m simply happy Brienne and also Jaime lastly got their moment.
One last interaction from the dining hall demands to be addressed: a short but important conversation in between the Hound and also Sansa. It’s to be a while due to the fact that they’ve checked out each other, however the Hound is aware of everything she’s handle with because their critical encounter. Sansa has actually survived some monsters, and when he comments on the list of men she’s had to struggle — and beat — to with the present stage of she life, she declares, “Without Ramsay, Littlefinger, and also the rest, i would have stayed a tiny bird every my life.” (+10) that a amazing line indigenous an absurdly powerful woman, yet the writers’ decision to have actually Sansa seemingly attribute her sense of worth to a male who raped she is upsetting. There’s a possibility that Sansa’s native were supposed to inspire a sense of the strength she’s reclaimed by death the guys who make her feel powerless, yet that no come with clearly.
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The common throughline of this Game that Thrones season is powerful woman fighting because that what they deem to it is in theirs. Cersei is ready to protect her ar on the iron Throne ~ conniving her method there. Daenerys is all set to take back her birthright. Arya is top top the road to coming to be the warrior queen she’s constantly dreamt of being. And Sansa is holding under the ft as Lady distinguishable of Winterfell. It there is no been straightforward road for any type of of them, yet Daenerys keeps adding to her pile of anxieties. She wants to be v Jon, her nephew, yet the only means that can happen is if he no tell his family about his true heritage. As soon as he asks just how they can be together, she spits, “I simply told girlfriend how,” climate walks away. (+10)
Damn, girl! ice cream ice, baby! go Jon listen? Nope! the would require Jon act anything sensible, and also as he is proven time and also time again this season, that’s simply not his style. Jon calls for a household meeting the end by Bran’s favorite tree, i m sorry seems favor such a long way to hike when they own whole castle filled with personal meeting rooms, but I digress!
During this meeting, Jon asks Bran if he must tell Arya and also Sansa about his actual lineage, and also Bran stoically replies, “It’s her choice.” (+10) This scene provides me think the we’ve all check out Bran wrong. He might have showed up to it is in a sociopath, however the much more I see the little games Bran plays, the more likely he’s just a messy kid thriving on his family’s interpersonal drama. My therapist wouldn’t be proud that him, but I am. Jon swears Arya and Sansa come secrecy, and also Bran proceeds come tell them every little thing he knows. That a good plan, other than that the sucks. Sansa tells Tyrion everything almost five minutes later, betraying her brother (+15). You know what lock say around secrets: simply don’t.
Back at Winterfell, in the warmth rooms that make much more sense for cool exclusive meetings, is an additional family therapy session. Tyrion and Jaime, my two favorite brothers, are simply hanging out and chatting about girls like a couple of 14-year-old guys waiting because that dinner. Tyrion acknowledges the he’s happy Jaime and Brienne are ultimately together, joking, “I’m happy you’ll ultimately have to rise for it.” (+5) all these year of civilization making brief jokes, and also now Tyrion it s okay to return the donate while his handsome, perfect brother laughs in prior of a crackling fireplace. How do we acquire 90 minute of just this? who at HBO must I send my strong worded pan fiction to?
Unfortunately, your harmonious drink session is interrupted by Bronn, that is wielding a crossbow and looking for a fight v a “pair the gold-plated cunts,” as he phone call them. (+5) prior to long, his threatening existence turns into actual fisticuffs. Bronn punches Tyrion in the nose (+10) and shoots an arrowhead behind Jaime’s head just to prove he deserve to take them the end whenever he wants. Whoever stated testosterone no an issue clearly hasn’t walked around Winterfell in the last couple of centuries. Simply as conveniently as your fight begins, however, that ends. Bronn partakes in a small drinking self (+10), then makes a proposition to Tyrion and also Jaime. He’ll sign up with their alliance (+15 come Bronn for joining it, +15 to Tyrion for forming it) if they have the right to secure the a noble title when they defeat Cersei. Walk he simply betray the wickedest queen of the south? Hell yes. (+15 treason points)
After a grasp of secret meetings, confessions, prey calls, a arbitrarily declaration the Dorne has joined Daenerys’ alliance (+15 to Daenerys), drunken party nights, and also I imagine an inescapable amount of vomit on the hallway floors, human being are ready to move out. Arya and also the Hound are off top top their own spinoff-style adventure (I’m calling it The Wolf and also The Hound — it’s all yours, HBO), i beg your pardon is kickstarted by Arya joking that she’d most likely leave the Hound for dead again if lock got recorded by the not correct company. (+5) The remainder of Winterfell’s soldiers (those that weren’t killed by the undead wights and also my Ice infant Boyfriend, the Night King) are traveling to meet Cersei head-on. Daenerys hops on she dragon (+20) and takes to the skies.
With everyone leaving home, the time for last goodbyes at Winterfell. It wouldn’t be a ideal send-off there is no a backhanded compliment native Tormund, who tells Jon he “weighs as much as two fleas fucking,” (+5) once the last insists he can’t ride Rhaegal due to the fact that the dragon requirements to heal. What a an excellent friend! just how do I get a friend like Tormund once I’m emotion bloated and need someone to tell me I weigh as much as “two fleas fucking”?
This scene really is wonderful reminder of how many people love Jon Snow, a useless guy I feel nothing however contempt toward. After talking to Tormund, Jon says goodbye to Sam and Gilly (who will certainly forever be Cassie from Skins to me) and learns she’s pregnant in the process! (+15 pregnancy points to both Gilly and also Sam) A beautiful day, indeed! The White Walkers room dead, and Jon eye is going to be a godfather — if he survives the great war v Cersei, that is.
It feels prefer they simply survived one battle (because lock did), and now they’re currently anxious about getting with another. It’s enough to journey anyone come self-deprecating comments, prefer Tyrion, who argued to Varys that perhaps “Cersei will kill us all. The will fix all our problems.” (+5) the may have actually meant the jokingly, however just a couple of minutes later, Euron Greyjoy and also his band of merry goth pirates appear to showcase just how much damage they deserve to do. Euron, decked the end in a joy Division-inspired outfit, uses a souped-up scorpion to shoot under Rhaegal (+150 dragon-killing points, +25 for called character). Rhaegal bring away three big arrows to the body and crashes right into the blue sea below. (+25 because that memorable death)
If the doesn’t scream, “Don’t mess with me,” i don’t know what does. Possibly the dramatic overuse that eyeliner? either way, the much much better than, say, Jon eye standing behind a wall and yelling in ~ a dragon prefer he go in the last episode. In between taking under Rhaegal and also orchestrating an strike on Daenerys’ armies arriving by ship, Euron insurance claims a battle victory (+25) no one might have watched coming — not also Dany, even though she was soaring high in the sky and assumedly could see everything below. It’s sufficient to send a post from Cersei. As she states to Euron: “So lot for the ‘Breaker the Chains.” (+10)
Just a quick note: it’s mildly infuriating that these dragons space going down without much of a fight. No they supposed to be near-invincible? Aegon the Conqueror took all 7 kingdoms with three dragons, however Daenerys can’t seem come keep hold of her children. Just how did she not watch a fleet the ships coming from the side prior to Rhaegal dropped to his fatality in the sea below? I’m not saying this is careless war planning, but I’m a tiny concerned about the result of your fight v Cersei if Arya isn’t over there to stick a dagger in someone’s love at the critical second.
Almost as if to prove my point, Daenerys is ignoring every one of Tyrion’s proposal for the upcoming battle. Instead, she desires the world of king Landing to see just how much that a tyrant Cersei is by letting she evilness seep right into their daily lives till they have no choice but to revolt. “They should know whom come blame once the sky drops upon them.” (+10) the one point to ignore randoms hollering in ~ you (kind of prefer Twitter, yet somehow also less traumatic), but it’s an additional to disregard what your inner one is telling you.
Even Tyrion and Varys have some concerns. The two have a mystery meeting to controversy the merits the Daenerys matches Jon snow on the stole Throne. Varys, that is currently in top top Jon’s actual identity, astutely points the end that “if a handful of human being know now, then a hundred people will recognize soon.” (+10) Imagine! Jon Snow ultimately sitting top top the iron Throne would certainly be the meaning of a mediocre man failing up right into a position of absolute power. That suggest even comes up in your conversation. Varys establish that due to the fact that Jon snow is a man, he’ll be taken an ext seriously. Finally, someone is speaking to reality’s sad truths!
“Joffrey was a man,” Tyrion returns. “I don’t think a penis is a true qualification.” (+5)
“Because he is a man, yes, cocks space important, ns afraid,” Varys argues. (+5)
Good lord, i love the back-and-forth between Varys and also Tyrion. I can watch that all day, too. Us could call it The Imp and also the Spider. (HBO, these space all free, yet if you want to introduce me to Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, i wouldn’t precisely say no.)
Speaking that my favourite Lannister, all is no well ago home. Jaime learns about the attack on Daenerys’ ships indigenous a sassy Sansa, who wastes no time declaring, “I constantly wanted to it is in there when they executed her sister. Seems like I won’t acquire the chance.” (+10) It’s enough for him come walk ago his decision come live peacefully v the mrs of his dreams and instead go back to King’s Landing to kill Cersei once and also for all. Or possibly sleep with her again? i can’t tell with Jaime, however he’s do the efforts to it is in a great man this days, and that provides me think he won’t fall earlier into his incestuous means with the female embodiment the pure evil. Even though I view him that means and a teary-eyed Brienne make the efforts to convince him the he’s a an excellent man, Jaime can’t protect against the guilt wrecking his mind. “She’s hateful, and also so am I.” (+10)
That’s just not true, Jaime! It harms me that you think of yourself this way! Where’s Tormund as soon as you need him come say other nice, possibly about your weight! “True hate” Cersei’s actions down in king’s Landing. She gathered her army behind the city wall surfaces where she’s holding Missandei hostage. The time for negotiations come begin. She sends Qyburn the end to accomplish Tyrion to comment on their queens’ demands. Both Daenerys and also Cersei room stubborn, and neither is willing to submit to the other. Tyrion, in a moment of desperation, moves past Qyburn and also pleads v Cersei directly. This is still his big sister, after ~ all. Sure, she’s partially responsible for making his life hell, and also she’s partly the factor Bran is paralyzed, and she’s a malevolent tyrant, yet family is family. The an very brave move for Tyrion to take, especially with a line of archers pointing arrows at his head. It’s also what renders him this week’s MVP. (+20) Tyrion doesn’t want to view anyone hurt, and also he walk the just thing he have the right to think of: speak to her maternal side.
“If not for you yourself then for your child. Your regime is over, but that doesn’t average your life has to end,” Tyrion pleads. “It doesn’t average your baby needs to die.” (+10)
Cersei, however, no care. She a coldhearted queen. But she requirements to prove what she’s capable of to Daenerys. Cersei commands the mountain to behead Missandei (+25) who says “dracarys” before falling over the leaf of the wall. (+25 because that memorable death) Daenerys is practically paralyzed in ~ the vision of she trusted friend and also ally, however the fury on her face says it all: the true fight for the iron Throne has actually arrived.
THE VERGE FANTASY league STANDINGS
Andy Hawkins, 495 points
Top scorer: Euron Greyjoy (200 points)
Note: Andy’s gambling on Euron Greyjoy certainly paid off. There’s only one dragon left, and also if Euron death him, too, well, it’s video game over.
Chaim Gartenberg, 475 points
Top scorer: Bronn (55 points)
Note: Bronn may have been otherwise useless in this episode, however sauntering over to the Lannister brothers and also making his requirements while yielding a crossbow was a good decision.
Shannon Liao, 475 points
Top scorer: Sansa distinct (45 points)
Sarah Bishop Woods, 425 points
Top scorer: Rhaegal (25 points)
Note: Rhaegal may no much longer be with us (RIP you magnificent beast), however at least his fatality helped Sarah relocate up the rankings.
Tasha Robinson, 420 points
Top scorer: Gendry (40 points)
Julia Alexander, 380 points
Top scorer: Jaime Lannister (35 points)
Note: I’m simply happy the my sweet infant boy ultimately made love come his dope girlfriend, even if that’s not me. I’m totally fine v it. Yep.
Elizabeth Lopatto, 365 points
Top scorer: Daenerys Targaryen (75 points)
Adi Robertson, 150 points
Top scorer: Davos Seaworth (10 points)
Note: Adi really wants to take last place, yet even the characters she didn’t think would carry out too lot for her continue to display up and, like, eat or drink. Their merriness is ruining her plan!