The penultimate Game the Thrones episode, “The Bells,” was the precise opposite the The Lego Movie: everything is not awesome, and also everyone is no okay.

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It wasn’t a war that descended on king’s Landing. It to be pure devastation. This was a massacre, just wholesale violence for the sake of violence. If viewers believed that things can end peacefully in between the Red Keep, the mommy of Dragons, and anyone unlucky sufficient to it is in caught between them, this episode verified that’s never ever going to happen.

“The Bells” also reminded united state that sometimes Game of Thrones doesn’t make sense. If you, prefer me, watch Game of Thrones with Twitter to run in the background, there’s a good chance you noticed that practically everyone responding come the display was angry. Daenerys Targaryen’s decision to burn countless innocent human being just to display Cersei Lannister she can didn’t specifically make sense. No did Jaime’s race to reconnect v Cersei after such a long slow-burn relationship with Brienne. “The Bells” fell into the category of “dumb entertainment,” and that’s no a negative thing — yet it’s a lot to unpack.

Let’s jump right into it.

There’s miscellaneous poetic around this episode beginning with the death of its many prolific prophet. Courage is deciding to carry out the right thing, also if that means certain death. Varys doesn’t shot to hide his concern around Daenerys taking the throne, and he goes to Jon (aka Aegon Targaryen) in the wishes that he may have the ability to convince Jon that he have to reign. (+15 to Varys because that betraying his queen) if this is happening, Tyrion go to check out his queen and turns into Randall indigenous Disney’s Recess. He is snitching everywhere the place about Varys’ betrayal, and the Maddest Queen will not was standing for it. Hasn’t Tyrion ever before heard the expression “snitches gain stitches”?


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Image: HBO
Varys is dragged out of his room (where the was an extremely peacefully composing some type of pan fiction, ns sure) by Daenerys’ guards, and also he’s sentenced come death. Yes a quaint moment between once-good friend Tyrion and Varys once the previous confesses “It was me .” (+10 for a brutal one-liner, also if most of it’s just implied) climate Drogon unleashes a fierce, fiery strike (Drogon gets this +25 for killing a named character) burn Varys alive. (+25 for a memorable death)

This is Daenerys embracing her Mad Queen side, which some, consisting of Varys, concerned was lurking in the wings. It’s troubling to watch her vengeful side play out versus her previous closest advisers — particularly for Jon Snow, who’s realizing he do not do it be in a relationship with his aunt and also is trying to handle that breakup together delicately together possible. Jon go to inspect in ~ above Dany, together a great ex does, yet Daenerys doesn’t have actually time for him. She concerned around Jon taking her place, and she doesn’t let that forget that she warned the what would take place if he spilled the tea about his parentage.

“Far an ext people right here love you than me,” Dany declares. “I don’t have love here. I only have fear.” (+10)

When Jon proclaims that he loves she — yet only as a queen — Dany gives him one of her ideal disappointed looks and also says, “Let it be fear.” (+10) Look, breakups space hard. It just gets more facility when you’re breaking up through a household member girlfriend didn’t even know to be a family member! add in the you’re around to walk to war together, and nearly anyone would have actually trouble navigating these waters. It’s the very first time i have felt negative for Jon every season. Dude is do the efforts his best to relocate on, but he deserve to only execute so much without being turned into ashes top top the clues if he says the not correct thing.

Dany is now basically the queen, and that means she it s okay to spend half her day riding about on Drogon’s back, taking in the scenery, and the other fifty percent dealing with bureaucratic meetings. ~ finally finishing things v Jon (praise be), she meets through Tyrion and also Grey Worm. Daenerys and Grey Worm want blood; Tyrion desires peace. Just one person in this meeting has actually a dragon, and dragons rarely want to solve troubles with words instead of fire. Tyrion suggests with Daenerys because that the thousandth time, however she’s not hearing it anymore, not after that recklessly pass on the Jon-tea to Varys, enabling his betrayal and also getting the killed.

“The next time you fail me will certainly be the last time girlfriend fail me,” Daenerys threatens. (+10) Ruh-roh, Scooby. Time to skedaddle!

With the exception of Jon and Tyrion, everyone in this episode is looking to kill. Bloodlust is in the air. Even Arya Stark, who arrives at king Landing ~ above horseback v her an excellent pal the Hound, is volunteering her violent dreams to anyone who asks. “I’m Arya Stark, and also I’m walking to kill Queen Cersei,” she nonchalantly educates a guard. (+10) The brevity! The strength! i’m going to use this tactic the following time my boss asks me whereby I’m going. “I’m Julia Alexander, and also I’m walk to take it a nap.”


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Image: HBO
Arya is open around her plans to part Cersei’s throat, however other civilization are compelled to act much more deviously. Tyrion betrays his queen (+15) by help his older brother Jaime escape native the tent where he’s being hosted after the was caught trying to gain to Cersei. Exactly how is it possible that Jaime keeps obtaining captured? This is the Kingslayer, a guy so professional that he took under a murderous mad king. And yet, every other season, he winds up captured in some component of Westeros. It’s truly incredible just how imbecilic mine beautiful Jaime deserve to be some days! At the very least it allows a gut-wrenching Tyrion and Jaime heart-to-heart, a conversation in between brothers that love every other and also know they’ll never be in the same ar again.

Tyrion begs Jaime to find Cersei, take her away from king Landing, and disappear forever. He wants them come raise their son in a city much away indigenous Daenerys’ rule, and also he wishes the advice to safeguard the baby could make Cersei watch reason. “The worst things she’s ever done, she’s done for her children,” Jaime counters. (+10) Curses! i will not ~ anyone in this godforsaken place listen come Tyrion? Someone get him a soapbox and a megaphone already. Yeesh! Eventually, Tyrion it s okay Jaime to check out his allude of check out (sans soapbox), and also the two say their final goodbyes. Both are ready to breath their last breaths tomorrow — Jaime because he’s walking into a battle zone, Tyrion since he expects Dany to execute that for setting Jaime free. But Tyrion think it’ll be precious it if Jaime have the right to spirit Cersei away and end the war.

“Tens of thousands of innocent lives, one not particularly innocent dwarf. Seems like a fair trade,” Tyrion point out out. (+10)

With all of the final goodbyes, breakups, and also threats set out, it’s time because that the great battle to begin — except, together I stated previously, it’s just wholesale slaughter. From about minute 35 till this illustration ended, there to be nothing however carnage. Daenerys sit atop Drogon (+20 because that dragon-riding), and they put waste to king Landing. While Dany’s an initial two dragons often seemed useless in battle, a pissed-off Drogon and also Daenerys have much more than comprised for it. Both Drogon and Daenerys receive the episode maximum the 50 points for killing countless innocent people, i m sorry is practically hilariously sad, considering Daenerys characterized her climb to rulership by freeing slaves and also fighting for innocent people. But sure, permit her just go against her entire character in the series’s penultimate episode. Who demands consistency in storytelling as soon as you have the right to just slaughter world for the services of cool visuals?

To consist of for it, part less-innocent people are likewise thrown into the chaos. Harry Strickland it s okay incapacitated through Drogon and Daenerys during the battle (+10 every to dragon and also rider) before being brutally eliminated by Grey Worm. (+25 for acquisition out a named character) If ns being honest, ns forgot who Harry Strickland was prior to this episode, but watching him obtain speared through the stomach and falling to the ground as bedlam division out around him is absolutely a memorable method to go. (+25 come Harry) Congratulations on making me remember your name, Harry!

Jon Snow and also Grey Worm automatically enter warrior mode, acquisition out an absurd variety of King’s Landing soldiers. (+50 illustration max come both) Cersei isn’t specifically worried. Euron has actually taken down a dragon before, and also she to trust her army is the best. “The Red Keep has actually never fallen. That won’t fall today,” she declares. (+10)

Except that’s not specifically true. Drogon conveniently takes down the steel Fleet and the defenses at king Landing, and all of the devastation becomes too much for the city’s soldiers. The bells of king Landing are rung. Loss is conceded. People are all set to bow down before Daenerys, the Breaker that Chains and also Mother that Dragons. (+25 come Dany for acquisition the city) The world of king’s Landing can be ready to bending the knee, yet she isn’t excellent wreaking destruction yet. This is her day to important inspire are afraid in her new loyal subjects, and also she’s going to do it, personality consistency be damned! Happy mummy Day, mother of One continuing to be Dragon!

Daenerys isn’t the only one who wants to proceed fighting. Euron Greyjoy and also Jaime Lannister run into each other down by the water. As well as this basically being a dream come true because that this thirsty writer, it likewise leads come a fun battle between two remarkable soldiers. “If you kill one more king before you die, they’ll sing around you forever,” Euron taunts. (+10) Jaime no waste any type of time deeming Euron unworthy of gift a king, yet he fights back regardless. Euron manages to acquire in a few good swipes, incapacitating Jaime (+10) and dealing him some presumably mortal wounds. Yet it’s Jaime who gets in the an ext devastating blow, killing Euron. (+25) never ever one to be out-drama’d, Euron safety his last words making sure Jaime doesn’t acquire the critical word.


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Image: HBO
“I’m the man who killed Jaime Lannister,” he proclaims, smiling up at the sky. (+10 for that comment, and also +25 for a glorious exit)

(Note: This to be a destructive moment because that me. If someone desires to edit a montage the Euron Greyjoy — the Game the Thrones personality most most likely to do out through you top top a lumpy bed under a pentagram poster when listening to The cure — and also send it to me, ns would substantially appreciate it.)

Back in the city, the Hound and also Arya are making their means through the halls of the castle, make the efforts to uncover Cersei. This is your moment; every little thing they’ve trained for has lastly arrived. Unfortunately, the Hound i will not ~ let Arya sign up with him. He gets into protective huge brother mode, pulling a heat from Harry and also the Hendersons, telling Arya to conserve herself.

“You come v me, you dice here,” the Hound warns. (+10)

Arya thanks him, running in the various other direction, and also letting the Hound precise the revenge he is dreamt of because that so long. He does — type of. After acquisition out four random safety (+40), he come face-to-face through Qyburn, Cersei, and also his big bad brother, the Mountain. Oh, goodie! Sound the alarms, call your the next friends, the Cleganebowl is here. Obtain hype! Qyburn order the hill to safeguard Cersei, but the hill chooses rather casually squishes and smashes the (+25 killing points come the Mountain, +25 to Qyburn because that a memorable death), betraying Cersei in the process (+15). And also then it’s time for the most steel fight of the season. The only thing absent is a collection of random guitar solos, a live mosh pit, and Gene Simmons floating approximately in the background. It to be cool, friends.

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It’s also incredibly violent, and the hill looks suspiciously favor Darth Vader in The realm Strikes ago when he’s on the bridge v Luke Skywalker. Yet without question, it’s the best component of the episode. Over there are even funny moments in between the 2 brothers who loathe each other an ext than anyone else on this show. The Hound yelling “Fucking die already” is absolute perfection. (+5 for a funny one-liner, largely because of the Hound’s perfect timing) that a lengthy fight, and even with a knife in his forehead, the hill isn’t all set to go down. The isn’t until the Hound decides to litter them both v a wall, falling with the air and also landing in an enormous blaze, that the fight lastly ends. (+25 points come the Hound because that winning the fight, +25 clues to each of them for extremely memorable deaths)


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Image: HBO
Remember once I claimed this to be a bloodbath? ns wasn’t being overdramatic. Best after the Hound and the Mountain have actually their dramatic final fight, the episode switches come demonstrating the aftereffects of Daenerys and Drogon’s entirely unnecessary massacre. Arya wakes increase after gift incapacitated through an assault from Drogon and Dany (+10 / +10), and she go around, staring at the ashy body of king Landing strangers and also those she do the efforts to assist get out of the dragon’s strike path. One drafted character, in particular, Nora, earned herself a memorable death. (+25) Arya do the efforts to get Nora out of the course of Drogon’s devastating assault (+25 to both Drogon and also Daenerys because that blasting an additional drafted character), however not also the an excellent Arya distinct is a match for an angry dragon.

But this illustration wasn’t around Arya. That wasn’t about Tyrion or Varys or Jon or Jaime. That wasn’t around the Hound, the Mountain, or Euron Greyjoy. This episode was about the conference of 2 mad queens, finally staring each various other down and going head-to-head. The was around Daenerys and Cersei. It’s why I’ve decided to name Daenerys this week’s MVP (+20). It’s a painful win offered what she walk this episode, yet no one deserve to deny the lot of strength Daenerys wielded while soaring over the city. It to be impressive and terrifying. It to be the mark of a tyrant ruler, yet there’s likewise something magnetic about seeing Dany embrace her absolute power. But be warned, Dany: absolute strength corrupts absolutely.