Inyoung You and her boyfriend, Alexander Urtula, mutual a toxicity relationship, prosecutors say, and she sent out him much more than 47,000 messages in the 2 months prior to his suicide.

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Boston College student returns to U.S. To face charges in boyfriend's suicide

Nov. 22, 201901:29
Tens that thousands of messages amounting to what prosecutors contact months that "wanton and also reckless" psychological abuse to be presented Friday during the arraignment the a Boston College student accused of prodding her friend to take it his own life, climate failing to intervene as soon as he go so.

Inyoung You, 21, a indigenous of southern Korea that is an American citizen, appeared emotionless as prosecutors in Suffolk County exceptional Court in Boston laid out their situation for just how she accused drove her boyfriend, Alexander Urtula, 22, to suicide. You, that is on leaving from Boston College, pleaded not guilty come manslaughter and also failing come act.

During the 18 months the You dated Urtula, that was additionally a student at the college, prosecutors say their relationship flourished increasingly abusive and also You would consistently text him come "kill himself or walk die."

A cool jury indicted You critical month, and also Suffolk County ar Attorney Rachael Rollins claimed the texts appeared to become "more frequent, powerful and demeaning," also though girlfriend knew Urtula was going with a "spiraling depression."

Inyoung You, a former Boston College student from southern Korea, arrives to it is in arraigned on involuntary manslaughter charges in link with the suicide of she boyfriend, in Suffolk County premium Court in Boston on Nov. 22, 2019.Katherine Taylor / Reuters

Prosecutors have alleged that You exerted regulate over Urtula, tracking his motions via his cellphone and sending thousands of messages in the run-up come his death. Prior to their connection began, Urtula had no documented mental health issues, did no exhibit risk components for suicide or point out self-harm in his journals prior to January 2018, prosecutors said.

In the two months prior to he took his own life on might 20 — the exact same day he was to graduate native Boston university — Urtula and You exchanged around 75,000 text messages, with around 47,000 of them coming from her.

At times, You would certainly threaten damage to Urtula, when texting prior to his upcoming graduation, "I want to bash your head against a wall," and also would additionally claim she was going to damage herself since of him, a tactic that preserved him indigenous leaving her, assistant prosecutor Caitlin Grasso said at Friday"s arraignment.

The dangers would escalate, Grasso added, when Urtula didn"t respond come her fast enough, request for space or want permission to walk to sleep.

The texts, i m sorry prosecutors say to be uncovered through a forensic extraction of Urtula"s phone, and journal entries showed exactly how You allegedly damaged down Urtula emotionally and how he grew more and much more isolated native his friends previously this year.

He texted ~ above April 11 to her that "I"ll leaving this f------ earth just you re welcome don"t carry out anything don"t hurt yourself anymore" and also "I"ll go dice for you," prosecutors said.

When Urtula attempted to assert himself and accused you of gift the abusive one, prosecutors included that she turned it on him, texting on April 29: "ABUSE U THINK ns ABUSE U U WANNA SAY i ABUSE U ... UR that F------ IDIOTIC and STUPID really ABUSE."

Alexander Urtula.Suffolk County ar Attorney

Two days before his death, Urtula struggled with cutting off call with his friends at Boston College, i m sorry You accused asked him to do. In a message sent on might 18, prosecutors to speak she wrote: "did I no F------ phone call U TO read currently IF YOU do NOT F------ check out IT RIGHT currently I"M accurate GOING come F------ slash MY THROAT and TAKE A video clip SAYING it WAS because OF YOU."

Urtula at times would try to stand up for himself. Grasso claimed he was distraught that among the people he said "I love most in the world" was telling him to take it his very own life.

"Stop telling me just how worthless and pathetic i am ... And also how much I worthy to die," Grasso said he texted on march 31.

Urtula, a biology major originally from Cedar Grove, new Jersey, and a member that the Philippine society of Boston College, died after authorities say he jumped native the roof the a parking garage much less than 2 hours before he was claimed to walk in ~ commencement.

Prosecutors said You had the ability to track Urtula come the garage v his cellphone location role that morning, and in a couple of minutes that her getting here at 8:31 a.m., he jumped.

They allege that she knew he was threatening to harm himself and also that "she did not call law enforcement and also medical personnel to intervene and prevent his death," no one tell the parking garage staff who would have been in a place to assist.

During a news conference after her arraignment, You"s defense attorney, Steven Kim, blasted the managing of the situation as "unjust and callous behavior by a district attorney in what I deserve to only conclude is a cheap pursuit of headlines."

The charge against You, Kim added, is traumatizing to her "but also happens no to be true. When the facts come out, it will be clear the these 2 young individuals were an extremely needy emotionally and were connected in a connection that ended up being a toxicity blend of fear, anger, need and love."

Kim argued a jury pool could be tainted because of the extreme media attention in the case. He additionally clarified that You continues to be a college student at Boston College; prosecutors had actually referred come her together a former student.

Initially, prosecutors claimed they could need come extradite girlfriend from south Korea since she to be overseas as soon as the indictment to be announced. Kim claimed that while she was born there, she thrived up in suburban Seattle and also is a U.S. Citizen.


The matter has attracted comparisons to an additional high-profile case in Massachusetts in i beg your pardon a young woman, Michelle Carter, was convicted the involuntary manslaughter in 2017 after she boyfriend died by suicide.

The case against Carter hinged on text messages in which she showed up to prod her boyfriend, Conrad Roy III, come "take action." Both Carter and Roy experienced from depression, attorneys claimed at the trial.

The referee at You"s arraignment allowed her relax on $5,000 bail, an amount arranged through prosecutors due to the fact that she had actually voluntarily returned to the U.S. From south Korea to challenge charges and has no former criminal record. She must surrender her passport and also remain in Massachusetts before pretrial hearings following year.

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If girlfriend or someone you recognize is in crisis, speak to the nationwide Suicide prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255, text home to 741741 or visit for added resources.